Journal Entry 18
~Life goes on~
It is sad to say, but true.
Life continues like the ebbing tide of the sea and sometimes we just get swept up in the many moments without realising that time is pressing on.
Living for today, one never stops to think that this might be the last one you will live in, this might be your final sunset, your final kiss, your last cup of cappucino.
I realised this in a way that noone would want to.
I started receiving death threats…
“He” was the Emporor of Evil. He was someone even I was afraid of. I dared not utter his name. I was a threat to him. There was only one way to despatch of me.
Finally, even though I had stood firm in days when I had had doubts, my family was threatened. When I went home that night, when the fear had finally consumed me, all I could think to do was garden.
It gave me peace… it gave me healing.
The methodical picking and weeding and watering soothed my restless soul.
I needed to think of some way… some how… to feel this peace in the rest of my life… to not fear for my family.
Who could I depend on? Who could I ask? In a world of thieves, the expression “as thick as thieves” only applies when the going is not “tough”. There are not many to depend on through the proverbial “thick and thin”.
I felt desperate, but life had to continue on. I could not let my family know that there was this menacing presence that threatened all we held dear.
I had to smile. I had to be fake.
I hated it.
I looked at my nieces and felt guilty that because of me, their lives might be over before they had even begun.
I held them close and soothed them, even though I knew I was only reassuring myself.
I felt guilty about Evangeline… so innocent… so pure… with so many expectations and dreams for her future.
I thought of dear Geraldine… she was trying so hard to be less *absent-minded* since mom had given her the lecture.
I gave my ‘undivided’ attention to Joss, even though my mind was elsewhere.
~Note from worsiedog~
*inspired by Mr Parachute, even though he is blissfully unaware that he did so*