~The joy of song~

The sun slowly crept up past the mountians in the distance ushering in a new dawn… the beginning of my journey.

As I lay in bed and listenened to the birds twittering in the trees on the edge of my land I planned my day ahead.  My land, it felt so good to say that.  It gave me a sense of strength, roots as it were.  It was part of me now, just as much as I was part of it.

I felt elated, I felt almost fearless.  I was about to begin mapping out my future, and the future for my future generations of daughters and sons.  My chest swelled with intense emotions as I contemplated family.  I missed my family so much.  We were so very close… I wanted to have that bond of closeness again.

But that would have to wait for now as I had more pressing engagements.  I had joined the gym in town and had signed up for an early morning aerobic class.  I muttered under my breath as to what had possessed me to join the earliest class of the morning, it would have been nice to laze around in my pajamas for a while longer.

But… I was starting over, afresh.  This was the first step toward the new and improved me.  Dr Frinkleton had said that exercise was a positive way for depressed people to feel good about themselves again, to feel whole.  Something to do with the endorphins if I remember correctly.  But I had not been ready to heal before… and now I was.

After a quick breakfast from the snackbar downstairs I headed up to the class.  It was actually more fun than I had anticipated.  It was good to feel all my muscles working… to feel my heart beating rapidly in my chest, it had been dead for so long I had often wondered if it was even there at all.

Morning aerobicsI met someone new there as well.  This was so unlike me to be out and about meeting new friends.  It felt strange, scary actually.  I always wondered if they were judging me, if they knew about my past.  But I had to keep reminding myself that this was a new town, I was a new person here with no history.  I was starting over, a new life, a new destiny, a new hope for the future.  I could write a new history for the CrinkleWinkle’s that would continue after I was gone.

Agnes Crumplebottom was really sweet.  She asked if I was new in town as she had not seen me around before and said we should meet sometime for coffee.  She was a bit of a fitness nut and she gave me some hints and tips with regard to my exercise routine and how to maintain my fitness levels.

fitness tipsTime flies when you are having fun… I had forgotting how true that saying was.  It had been such a long time since I had had real fun, not fake fun.  Before I knew it, it was time for work and since it was close to the gym, and of course following Agnes’s fitness maintenance tips, I decided to jog there.

Time flew even faster while I was at work.  It was great!  I did not know one could find so much happiness from ‘real’ work.  Though mom had always told me how much she loved been a thief.  The adrenalin rush, the happiness one feels when a job is well done.  I now understood what she had meant.  I came out of work feeling elated and positive.

Playing under the starsI felt the pressing need to play my guitar.  To express my joy in song.  I started to play right there outside the music theatre.  Look at those stars… what a magnificent evening.  I dedicated my music to the heavens and whoever was up there looking down on us, to my family and to my new found joy, my new found direction, the beginning of my life.  The leaves in the trees rustled softly as the wind whispered through them as if nature’s chorus had joined me.  My soul soared… I felt peace.  I said goodbye to the old me…

“I close both locks below the window

I close both blinds and turn away

Sometimes solutions aren’t so simple

Sometimes goodbye’s the only way

And the sun will set for you

The sun will set for you

And the shadow of the day

Will embrace the world in grey

And the sun will set for you

Pink cards and flowers on your window

Your friends all plead for you to stay

Sometimes beginnings aren’t so simple

Sometimes goodbye’s the only way

And the sun will set for you

The sun will set for you

The shadow of the day

Will embrace the world in grey

And the sun will set for you”*

As always I became lost in the melody and became unaware of the world around me for a moment.  But this time, I found strength from somewhere deep inside me to look up… a crowd had gathered again to enjoy my music.

A crowd gathersEventually the growling of my stomach brought me back to the reality of the moment.  I had to eat something and ran across to the park to enjoy the goodies in one of the picnic baskets laid out on the tables there.

NourishmentThe stars kept me company and the water fountain and crickets added the music which I had thought just earlier would end for the evening.  As I sat there, I saw a man across the street sitting on a bench at the bookstore… wasn’t he the same man that had been listening to my music?

Sitting at the bookstoreI carried on enjoying my burger and then I looked up and stared at the stars for what seemed like forever.  I never realised the peace one can feel…  staring up at the stars, absorbing the infinity of it while listening to nature’s evening chorus.  I felt something warm rush over my soul, I felt mom and I smiled.  A real happy smile… not a fake smile.

I remembered the man on the bench and looked over, but he was gone…

It's empty… I must be getting paranoid.

Then I did something that I am not completely proud of… I gave in to my genetic default.  I stole something…  I guess mom would be proud, but I felt dirty.

The kleptomaniacI rushed home… home would bring me solace… home would forgive me for what I had done…

Solace in the solar system… and you know what?  Surprisingly, it did.

*Lyrics are from Linkin Park’s “Shadow of the day”.  I added a video link, their videos are hard to get these days because of the stringent copyright laws, but this one, though not the original had the most personal meaning for me.

Shadow of the Day

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7 comments

  1. moondaisy101 · November 11, 2009

    Wow, worsiedog! This is more text than I’ve ever seen in your legacy so far. Don’t get me wrong, you write beautifully… Valentia is just totally different to her mother and grandmother.
    I liked the song very much!
    This man though, watching her… is he related to the killers?
    Or just someone who cultivated an interest in her?

    • worsiedog · November 11, 2009

      Also thanks about the song… music is the perfect way to express oneself and it is a good way for Valentia to express her deepest emotions… I am sure she will do it in the future if her emotions overcome her.

  2. worsiedog · November 11, 2009

    Thanks moondaisy.
    Some of Maxi’s pages were quite long towards the end, but I think this one seems longer because there are less pictures… but anyway, Valentia wants to say alot… so for her for now at least, less pictures are better.

    I want to convey a different personality for each heir as indeed they are all different so writting style was one way I thought I could achieve this.
    Each generation was written with a different style and format for this purpose, though I will keep a more organised format for them all from now on.

    Valentia has alot of emotional baggage because of what happened, but I also wanted her to have a transition. She is a virtuoso and therefore ‘creative’ so she would express herself with more depth and meaning than those before her I felt.

    The ‘man’ fits into the story… *cough* 🙂

  3. catherinesims3 · November 12, 2009

    Argh, that “man” is creeping me out. I’m paranoid, now, too. He could be the killer!

  4. worsiedog · November 12, 2009

    He could be indeed 😉

  5. jurocha · December 12, 2009

    I really appreciate you sharing your references! Thanks for that! And making use of the opportunity of this comment… do “ants in your pants” has anything to do with Judy and the Dream of horses song from Belle and Sebastian? (Or is it a common expression in English? I’m not a native speaker, and my common expressions/slang pool is very, VERY limited)

    I’m asking it because I just LOVE this song. Guess I might be the type of ants in the pants… LOL.

    Again, great work. Thanks for continuing it after code 12 and… congratulations for doing it in a way that both stories (before/after) connect so well.

    • worsiedog · December 12, 2009

      The expression “ants in your pants” is a common expression in english usually meaning restless.

      Thanks for the compliment and comment. I am glad that the explanation and the continuation worked out quite nicely… I just hope that I don’t have to come up with another creative explanation because of this patch update.

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